Here’s How One Child Understood Surrogacy

A California surrogate explains how her child understood surrogacy.

When a woman decides to become a surrogate, telling her kids might be a little tricky. The age of her child pretty much determines how to approach the matter. Here’s how one child understood surrogacy when her mother explained it to her.


A Surrogate’s Story 

Jennifer is a two-time surrogate for a California surrogacy and egg donor agency. In 2016, she delivered a 9.6 -pound baby girl for her intending parents. A year later, she underwent another surrogacy carrying a baby boy.

Both sets of intending parents were first-time parents.

Before Jennifer became a surrogate, she had two children of her own. She and her husband have a six-year-old daughter and a four-year-old son.

For both surrogacies, Jennifer shares that her son didn’t pay much attention to the process. He was nonchalant about it all.

However, her daughter is the inquisitive kind.  During Jennifer’s second journey, her daughter was in kindergarten and aware of everything.

“Nothing got past her – she absorbed it all,” said Jennifer, adding how she didn’t have to fluff up the topic.


Here’s How One Child Understood Surrogacy

Sharing the News

Jennifer already had her male embryo transfer when she talked to her daughter.

“My husband and I told our daughter that mommy was carrying a baby for another mommy and daddy,” she said.  “I didn’t want her to think that we were having another baby brother.”

Wanting to know more, Jennifer’s daughter was curious if her mom made babies.

“I told her there are a mommy and daddy out there that need my help to grow their baby,” she said.

From that basic explanation, Jennifer could see that her child understood surrogacy.


Here’s How One Child Understood Surrogacy

Classroom Talk

One day in her daughter’s classroom, a room mom approached Jennifer wanting to know if she was really a surrogate. Jennifer wondered how she knew since she hadn’t said a word about it.

“Your daughter told us all about it,” the woman said to Jennifer.

Worry flashed through Jennifer’s mind – she had no idea what her daughter said. Yes, her child understood surrogacy at a basic level. However, this came from the mouth of a kindergartener, right?

It all happened when one of the adults saw a pregnant Jennifer. They wanted to know if she was excited about being a big sister again.

“I found out that my daughter told them, ‘That’s not my baby brother. My mommy helps other mommies and daddies have babies. He’s an international baby,’” said Jennifer, repeating her daughter’s words.

And just like that… her daughter nailed it.


Here’s How One Child Understood Surrogacy

Lesson Learned

After Jennifer heard the room mom telling her daughter’s story, she realized that her daughter was teaching people about surrogacy. The room mom said how amazing it was that Jennifer was pregnant with someone else’s baby.

Jennifer explained how she was carrying a child for a couple who would be first-time parents. They had waited so long. And now, the wait was almost over.