Being a surrogate is all about giving hope. While the experience is incredible for both surrogates and future parents, women thinking about becoming surrogates are interested in learning as much as they can ahead of time. Kristie B., a two-time surrogate for a California surrogacy agency, shares her experiences.
Surrogacy: The Favorite Parts
Most surrogates agree that they love being pregnant. When they are finished having their own children, they want to help others build their families.
“Although I do gain a lot of weight on the medications, overall the experience of pregnancy is an amazing feeling,” Kristie said. “I love the growth of my belly and feeling life inside of me.”
Another common thread surrogates share is when they witness their intending parents hold their baby for the very first time. Kristie explained her first moment as entirely indescribable – it’s something that is so very hard to put into words.
“They truly loved their baby as much as I love my own children,” Kristie said. She added, “I could see that this surrogate baby was going to be loved so much.”
For intending parents, the wait for their surrogate baby feels endless. The moment they are born, it is love at first sight.
The Social Media Angle
Many new surrogates announce their decision on social media about helping intending parents carry their baby. For Kristie, she admits with her first surrogacy she kept it off the online grid.
“I kept it completely off all social media. I think in part I was nervous of the backlash I would receive, and I didn’t want to deal with online people making rude comments or trying to convince me not to go through with it,” Kristie said.
Even though Kristie never doubted for one moment that she wanted to be a gestational carrier, she just didn’t want to deal with any pessimism.
Surrogacy: The Not So Good Reactions
One of the most nerve-wracking things a new surrogate may experience is how to deal with negative responses from family members. Kristie said how her mother had the hardest time accepting that her daughter was going to be a surrogate.
Her mother’s views started to change when her friends were supportive.
“One of her friends called me an angel. Only then did my mom start supporting me,” Kristie said. “It kind of stinks, but my mom is old school and very judgmental. Now she is very supportive and wants to know all the details so she has something to tell her friends.”
Kristie admits how it can be a little annoying at times, but still, her mother came around and finally accepted her surrogacy choices.
Sharing The News Face to Face
Kristie explained how she preferred to tell her friends and family about her surrogacy decision face to face. It was important for her to do it this way.
“I wanted to see their reactions and be able to explain everything,” she said. “Once they knew I was safe and there were legal documents, lawyers, financial stability, and all the rest, they seemed to be on board with it.”
Like with anything, surrogacy is a topic that requires education to clear up myths and misconceptions.