Many women wonder if they can be a surrogate if they are not married or in a committed relationship. The short answer is yes! Single women who become surrogates are strong women who are committed to their families and to helping other intended parents grow theirs.
Benefits of surrogacy
There are many benefits to being involved in acting as a gestational surrogate. While financial compensation is a benefit, most women don’t become a surrogate solely for financial reasons. Getting to help another family grow is amazing, and many women report that the experience is unlike anything they’ve ever done before.
Another benefit is the possibility of forming an incredible relationship with your intended parents and the baby after he or she has been born! While getting to know your surro baby as they grow up is amazing, you get to decide what is right for you and your family. Every relationship is different. You will want to work with intended parents who want the same thing once the surrogacy is over, whether that is an ongoing relationship or no further contact. It’s important to be honest with yourself and the parents about what you feel is best for you and allow them to be honest about what is best for them and their future family. This should be discussed with the therapist and your intended parents prior to your surrogacy contract being signed and will possibly even be outlined in your contract.
Finally, many surrogates love being pregnant and can’t wait to do it again! It gives them an opportunity to experience the joys of pregnancy without actually having another child, which may not be an option due to finances or other life circumstances.
Your support system
The most important thing as single surrogate is to make sure that you have enough support to help you through the entire process. Surrogacy, though incredible, is also challenging in some respects. You’ll need to make sure that your family and friends will be there to help you when needed, including caring for your kids during doctor appointments or after fertility treatments, and especially at the end of your pregnancy and during recovery.
It’s also important to have someone who can provide emotional support. Pregnancy can be tough and having someone to encourage you through morning sickness, swollen ankles, and mood swings is crucial. That support system doesn’t have to be a partner; a network of close friends and/or family members is just as effective.
While there are some surrogacy forums and support groups online, it may be best to work with an agency that offers their own in-house support groups and optional therapy programs for their surrogates.
Dating and sex
Life happens. It’s not expected that you’ll put everything on hold during your cycle and pregnancy! While you may be single when starting the surrogacy journey, it is still possible to continue dating throughout your pregnancy. However, if you decide to become sexually active with someone new, you’ll need to let your case manager and doctor know as soon as possible.
Infectious disease screening will be needed (at the expense of the intended parents) before you become intimate with anyone new. This is to protect both you and the baby from possible infectious diseases.
Many women choose to avoid dating anyone new during this journey, both to avoid incurring extra expenses, and to avoid any potential complications that can come up in this unique situation.
If you do decide to start dating, it is important to be upfront with whomever you start seeing seriously: about your pregnancy, the surrogacy, and additional screening that may be required of them and you. Your case manager is also always available to discuss the situation, as well as provide you information or tips about starting a new relationship as a surrogate.
If you are a single woman looking to be a surrogate, it is important to work with an experienced agency, like Extraordinary Conceptions, as you start your journey. Give us a call to speak to someone in our Surrogacy Admissions Team who can help you get started. We look forward to working with you!