Most surrogates will share how they get asked a lot of questions about their journey. For someone who does not know about the process of gestational surrogacy, they always ask a surrogate if it will be hard to give up the baby.
A gestational surrogate has no biological link to the child she is carrying so there is no decision to make. Intending parents are unable to have a traditional pregnancy and turn to surrogacy when they need help building their family.
Amanda, a two-time California surrogate, gave her sage answer when people asked her how she could just give a baby away at the end of her surrogacy.
“Well, first I’m not giving a baby away. I’m actually giving the baby back because it was never mine to keep, to begin with,” said Amanda, who already had two young daughters.
Like Amanda, women who want to become surrogates should always have children first.
Amanda shared how being a surrogate was more in line with being an honorable babysitter. A gestational surrogate fully understands that the child was not created by her and her significant other, but instead through third-party assisted reproduction by way of an embryo transfer.
A surrogate provides a safe environment for a fetus to grow so that it may be in the loving arms of its parents one day.
Amanda describes surrogacy as a serious choice and an enormous task to take on. With both journeys, Amanda carried for two international couples. When she saw those parents holding their precious “bundles of joy” for the very first time, it made the whole process so worth it at the end.
“For all we know, we as surrogates could be carrying the next president, a movie star or a most famous future doctor,” she said. “Everything happens for a reason whether it’s a lesson to be learned or even for a greater future ahead.”
Amanda’s sensitivity on surrogacy transcended to her intended parents. It was important for her to show her appreciation by sending them updates and occasional photos. Sending off baby bump pictures can make a world of difference to intending parents who can think of little else than to kiss their baby in the very near future.
For Amanda, those pictures also gave her an enormous sense of pride knowing how she was making an actual difference in the lives of others.
“These kinds of photos can brighten up your day and make your heart skip,” Amanda said. “There will always be a special place in our hearts for our surro families.”
When Amanda thinks back to her surrogacies, she describes them as the most amazing experiences in her life. And what made them so incredible was having the right surrogacy agency, a great team, positivity, and faith.
“Dreams can and will come true through surrogacy,” Amanda said. “They really will.”