When people discover that a woman is a surrogate, they ask a variety of things. Here are some of the most common questions people ask surrogates when they find out the baby they are carrying is not their own.
What Did Your Kids Think?
Surrogacy agencies only accept female applicants who already have a family. Their pregnancies and deliveries were without any complications. Because surrogates are mothers with at least one child living at home, a common question they hear is what their children thought of this.
Surrogacy is an experience for the whole family. In fact, it’s a learning opportunity. No matter the age, kids learn that they too can be involved in helping an individual or couple who cannot have a baby without the help of their mother.
Former surrogates share how their children rubbed their feet toward the last trimester, helped pitch in with extra chores, and shared in the excitement leading up to delivery day.
Surrogates with younger children are quick to point out that they often had to reinforce with their kids that the baby they were carrying would not be their brother or sister. This kind of reminder wasn’t necessary for the older ones.
Through this surrogacy experience, children can learn what it really means to be compassionate.
How Can You Give the Baby Away?
Gestational surrogates have no biological connection to the baby they are carrying. The eggs are from either the intending mother or egg donor.
A woman goes into this surrogacy arrangement understanding that her role is to help someone have a baby. Without her, this person or couple would remain childless.
In addition to medical screenings, a potential surrogate also has meetings with a licensed counselor. The therapist will determine if a woman has what it takes to become a surrogate. It’s a long process that takes time and dedication.
The women who pass these rigorous screenings know right from the start that the baby they are carrying belongs to the intended parents. The gestational carrier is not the parent so there was never a baby to give away in the first place.
Did the Future Parents Tell You What to Do?
In a surrogacy agreement, contracts are drawn up ahead of time which spells out everything. Some intending parents want their surrogate to eat only organic foods, not do heavy-duty housecleaning, or may have travel restrictions.
In return, intending parents will arrange extra money to cover the costs of specialty foods or weekly housecleaning services.
The contracts make sure that a potential surrogate knows what is asked of her. Once an agreement is completed, there are no surprises.
Surrogates understand their intending parents have waited years for this baby. Future parents have an emotional and financial investment. So surrogates want to make sure they are following their wishes.
Do You Want to Be a Surrogate Again?
Most times women make this decision after the baby is born. A lot of women decide to have a repeat journey after they see their intending parents hold their newborn for the very first time. It’s a visual memory they will never forget.
However, being a repeat surrogate is a personal decision. For some, it’s a single journey. For others, they need to do it one more time.