Surrogacy is such an incredible journey between intended parents and surrogates that relationships have the natural tendency to blossom. In the midst of such a joyful experience, those behind the scenes in an agency have the expertise to match intending parents and surrogate mothers. And one such match is to make certain that both parties are like-minded in regard to the surrogacy process.
Surrogate candidates often wonder about the following:
- Can a surrogate choose her intended parents?
- Will there be communication between a surrogate and the intended parents?
- Will a relationship between the surrogate and intended parents continue even after the baby is born?
The answers to the above questions are that every surrogacy journey is just as unique as the people taking part in it so every relationship differs.
A Surrogate’s Priority:
Surrogates are giving so much of themselves that they deserve to choose future parents that they have a rapport with. Following the admissions process at top surrogacy agencies, intending parents will have access to a secure database to peruse candidates. If intending parents choose a particular surrogate, the next exciting step is for the agency’s coordinator to plan a meeting for them either in person or via Skype.
Prior to the meeting, the surrogate candidate will receive a bio about the intending parents so she can learn more about them beforehand. This meeting opens the first lines of communications assessing whether or not the potential surrogate and intended parents are compatible.
If a candidate wants to move forward with future parents, she can. However if she prefers to be matched with another intending parent(s), then that is her prerogative.
Communication: Surrogates and Intended Parents:
Part of the matching process is to understand the type and amount of communication that surrogates and intended parents agree upon. A decision is made with much consideration.
An important individual that comes into play for this is a licensed therapist whose expertise is in third-party reproduction. Leading agencies generally have a therapist on staff. Following communication with all parties, a therapist will ascertain the level of communication desired. Some surrogates and intending parents wish for a close bond while others do not.
It’s a personal choice and one that should be matched appropriately.
Looking Ahead: After the Birth:
A therapist at a surrogacy agency will know early on in the journey whether or not intending parents and a surrogate will want to continue their bond after the baby is born. Communicating these desires and being candid early on is essential for the matching process to make certain that all needs and expectations are being met.
While some surrogates continue to be in touch with their intending parents in a variety of ways, some relationships may be minimal or fade away in time. Again, it’s based on the desires of the surrogates and intended parents.
Surrogacy builds relationships, but it’s upon the discretion of the surrogate and intending parents on what type of relationship it will ultimately become.