4 common questions surrogates have about intending parents

There are questions surrogates have about intending parents such as the amount of contact they will have during the journey.


A potential surrogate wants to know as much about the process before signing up with a surrogacy agency. This also includes questions surrogates have about intending parents.


Can A Surrogate Pick Her Intending Parents?

Absolutely. During the early stages, many women tend to think that the surrogacy agency chooses the intending parents. The fact of the matter is that women wanting to become surrogates can select her intending parents.

Also, the process is a team effort.

Behind the scenes, a surrogacy agency works hard to match a surrogate with the right intending parents. In other words, a match that is very like-minded between all parties.

Once an applicant passes her initial screenings, her profile (bio and photos) uploads to a secure database for future parents to view. Intending parents will contact their coordinator if they want to reach out to a candidate.

From there, the agency coordinator will schedule a time for the applicant and intending parents to meet. Depending on the logistics, this can be an in-person meeting at the agency or by video conferencing.

If the meeting turns out to be a success, the applicant and intending parents will agree to a “match.”


4 common questions surrogates have about intending parents

Do Surrogates Have Contact with Intending Parents?

After the transfer and a confirmation of pregnancy, surrogates do have contact with their intending parents. However, the level of communication is different for every arrangement.

Before a match, the agency coordinator will know how much interaction the intending parents and surrogate candidate want. They can touch base bi-weekly, weekly, bi-monthly, or even monthly.

Texting, video chatting, and phone calls are the usual types of communication. An agency coordinator is there to help with scheduling these appointments early on. As the pregnancy progresses, many times surrogates and intending parents continue to do this on their own without the help of their coordinator.

A surrogate understands that the baby they are carrying means the world to her intending parents. Sending intending parents updates and belly bump photos can make their day.


4 common questions surrogates have about intending parents

Are the Intending Parents in The Delivery Room?

Hospitals will have their own rules and regulations. So, it’s important that research is done ahead of time to ensure that the intending parents can be there for the birth of their child.

Intending parents are also sensitive to the fact that their surrogate may need some alone time during labor. They want her to be comfortable and will follow her lead.


4 common questions surrogates have about intending parents

What’s the Contact Like After the Delivery?

Again, this is a personal decision for everyone involved. In the matching process, an agency coordinator will figure this out as well.

Some surrogates do keep in touch with the intending parents after the baby is born. They receive monthly updates and photos. Some communication is even more frequent.

For others, the communication can be every few months or more. Most surrogates agree, however, that they do get a photo and update right around the child’s birthday celebration.

Surrogates go into the arrangement understanding and respecting the wishes of her intending parents.