Becoming a surrogate for a family member is possible—in fact, many families prefer this. Learn more about being a “surrogate sister” today!
Many families struggling with infertility ask a sibling to be their surrogate. This particular route is not as common as a run-of-the-mill surrogacy agreement, as there are emotional, ethical, legal, and medical factors to consider.
Want to learn more about siblings and navigating surrogacy? Our guide has everything you need to know.
The Process of Being a Surrogate Mother for a Family Member
The American surrogacy process always follows the same system, whether it’s with family or not. After being legally and medically cleared, surrogates achieve pregnancy through an implantation procedure similar to IVF. The implanted embryo comes from either intended parents or donated gametes.
Your chosen IVF clinic monitors the early stages of a surrogacy pregnancy. After the first ultrasound confirms fetal heartbeat, an OBG/YN will take over. The pregnancy will then continue as “normal” until delivery day.
Things To Consider Before Becoming A Surrogate For A Sibling
While it may work for many family members to enter a surrogacy agreement, it’s not the right path for everyone. Please consider the following when entering a surrogacy agreement with a family member:
Legal Considerations
The most common form of surrogacy is gestational. These agreements require that the embryo used does not use any gametes from the surrogate herself, so she is not the biological mother of the coming child. Traditional surrogacy, where the carrier has direct genetic ties to the baby, is not legal or recognized in many states. This means that if your sister is your surrogate, she cannot also use her eggs for this process. The eggs must belong to you, your partner or a third-party egg donor.
Medical Considerations
There are many legal requirements for being a surrogate in the US, regardless of the relationship to the intended parents. Your sibling must meet every legal surrogacy requirement to proceed with this agreement. She must be physically and mentally healthy, have experience with pregnancy and childbirth, and be within legal age and BMI requirements. These regulations are in place for your safety, that of your sibling, and your coming child.
Emotional Considerations
Family is complex. A surrogacy agreement between siblings is sometimes emotionally tricky and can open old wounds and rivalries. We highly recommend that siblings who enter a surrogacy agreement work with a family therapist to ensure healthy communication during and after this experience.
Can a Family Member Be a Surrogate for Free?
ART agencies guide intended parents through every step of their family building journey, including matching with a surrogate and facilitating tests and screens to ensure she is a safe and appropriate fit for your family. Due to the extensive nature of these services, agency fees and costs are pricey for families, especially when entering a commercial (or paid) agreement. But what does a family member surrogate cost?
Families can expect to pay a lower cost of surrogacy with a family member for several reasons:
Agency Matching Services
Many intended parents enter their ART journey without any resources or potential surrogates in mind. For these families, an agency is the best way to proceed. Not only do agencies provide crucial legal and medical contacts for families, but they also offer matching services. Our registered intended parents can access a secure database of hundreds of surrogate candidates. Each of these candidates has been hand-picked by our team and fulfills every legal requirement to be a surrogate. Intended parents who work with a sibling don’t need to access this database, which reduces costs.
Compensation for Surrogate
In most of the US, commercial surrogacy is legal. This means surrogates are paid a substantial compensation package by their intended parents. Surrogates carrying a baby for their sibling are still entitled to this remuneration. However, some choose not to accept compensation for their role as surrogate and consider it a gift to their sibling. This is a personal choice that is ultimately up to the surrogate herself.
Still Need a Helping Hand?
Many families who match independently with a sibling still want the reassurance and guidance that an agency provides. This is why we’ve teamed up with the Surrogacy Project, an exciting partnership that allows our intended parents to match independently but still utilize our guidance to ensure their agreement meets legal status. Though there is a very small fee associated with this track, it is a much less expensive option.
If you have further questions about surrogacy, contact us any time to speak about your journey, expectations and needs. We are thrilled to help you, and thank you for including us in the story of your family.
